The Cold Read · your baseline
Fifteen minutes. Nobody sees this but you. Do not score the dad you plan to be. Score the last seven days, cold. In Week 12 you take this again, and you will want the truth on file, because the truth is what moves.
For each line, 0 means almost never true and 10 means almost always true. Go fast. The first number that comes to mind is usually the honest one.
Steadiness under fire
When my kid loses it, I keep my cool.0
I can feel a blowup coming before it lands.0
After a hard moment, I settle back down fast instead of stewing all night.0
Repair
When I blow it with my kid, I own it to his face within a day.0
My apologies are plain. No excuses stapled on.0
After a bad moment, we end up closer, not further apart.0
Connection
My kid gets time from me every day with nothing demanded of him.0
My kid brings me things that matter to him without being asked.0
I know what is going on in his world right now: friends, worries, wins.0
Straight talk
My kid feels heard by me even when the answer is no.0
I can say what I am feeling in plain words, out loud.0
Hard conversations at my house end with both sides understood, agree or not.0
The lines
My rules are few, clear, and known in advance.0
I enforce the same line the same way, calm, every time.0
My kid tests the limits less because the limits hold.0
The co-parent front
I answer hot messages with cool facts.0
My kid never carries messages or tension between the adults.0
I keep my kid out of adult business, even when I am the one who got wronged.0
The counts (past 7 days, whole numbers)
Blowups: times I yelled, slammed, or said something I regret0
Repairs: times I went back and made one of those right0
No-agenda minutes: one-on-one time where nothing was demanded of him (best guess), or completed calls for distance dads0
Flooded moments: heart pounding, jaw set, voice sharpened0
Nights with 7 or more hours of sleep0
Each domain: sum of its three items, out of 30. Total: sum of all 18 items, out of 180, shown as a score out of 100 (divide by 1.8, round). The counts are not scored. They are the evidence locker for Week 12.
Scored so far: 0 of 18 items. A zero you meant is fine; a zero you skipped is not.